Unfortunately, this wretched bit of writing is not fiction
Witnessing and recording a silly cat-and-mouse encounter gave me an even sillier idea: describe it in one long, annoying sentence. This pointless exercise in time wasting reminded me of the Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest: its home page includes the mantra “where ‘www’ means ‘wretched writers welcome’.” Its contestants write an atrocious opening sentence to a hypothetical bad novel.
And with that I give you a sentence — I think it’s a sentence — that is not fiction. It’s true — and truly wretched. Here it is . . . enjoy — or, rather, forgive me. Feel free to whip out your red editing pens and make it sing instead of sob.
The cat violently drags the mouse into the house, triggering my sharp command to remove the nasty rodent, and kitty obliges, cornering and carrying it to the backyard, but it escapes and hides under some old beat-up wood decking, then tempts fate by peeking out and getting ensnared in kitty’s sharp clutches, only to be carried off and released once more, teasingly hiding amid the sad-looking potted plants, prolonging with sick glee the both oddly funny and potentially fatal game that goes on and on and would actually end with the likely wounded rat bastard still able to flee into the evening, having fully earned its satisfaction on the battleground vs. the spent kitty, while I am happy simply to have a house free of vermin.
It's My Serve 